Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
