I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
