Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
