cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
