Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
