Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
