nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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