Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
