I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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