you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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