Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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