i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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