I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
