His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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