So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Drunk is not a location!
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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