Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
