That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Randomize
