yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize