I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
