roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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