sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
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