tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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