She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
