Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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