Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You're a womanizer and a bitch.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
