That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Randomize
