I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
