he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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