remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
