Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
