Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
no more duck duck goose at the bar
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
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