brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
