but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
