is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
