i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
