found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Randomize