yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
the liver wants what the liver wants
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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