your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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