i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
