Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Randomize
