We're facebook friends in real life
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
