Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just pee around me
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
