Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
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