I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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