I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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