I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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