I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
