i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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