um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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