he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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