How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
