So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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