so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
