1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
