ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
