I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Randomize
